Health Matters: FAQ's for Parents

Health Matters Questions and Answers with Student Health Experts Michelle Bowdler, Senior Director of Health Services and Julie Ross, Counseling and Mental Health Service Director at Tufts University recently sat down with the Parents Program to discuss health-related issues that parents might have concerning their student. This is the first in a regular series of health-related articles of questions and answers developed specifically for parents.
What happens to students’ health benefits when they graduate from college?
Bowdler: For starters, this should be the top of every family’s list of issues to deal with concerning healthcare. Young health students don’t often think about catastrophic ‘what ifs’ but insurance is actually a key issue for every graduate.
Almost all health insurance companies have a pre-existing condition clause so that if a person has a chronic condition, like asthma or diabetes or a mental health issue, and there is a gap in healthcare coverage, the pre-existing condition clause can go into effect and substantially limit coverage of that condition for a number of months. It is important to check with your insurance company and to also find out how soon your son or daughter’s coverage ends after graduation. Some plans end their coverage immediately. Some states, including Massachusetts, have options through the state to purchase coverage. We also don’t do our children any service when we tell them not to take a job because it may not be career related. Many hourly jobs provide coverage, which could save several hundred dollars a month in COBRA costs.
If your senior has health insurance through Tufts, he or she is covered until the end of August.
I’m disappointed in my child’s major and/or career choice. Can I say something?
Ross: Many students come to school with an intention to study something in particular. However, it’s not at all unusual for students to change their minds. Sometimes, the decision to change directions is very stressful, because they don’t want to disappoint their parents. I would suggest that a parent can steer his or her child to an academic dean or career services.
As parents, we want our children to be happy and we use our experiences to form opinions about what is right, but that’s not necessarily a ticket to others’ happiness. Our dreams might be different.
Many parents still have financial pull, so the children are not completely independent. The issue is: how do we negotiate? In general, it’s important to realize that you can’t push a river; it’ll flow in its own direction.
My child won’t share his/her grades—and I’m paying tuition. Should I insist?
Ross: Ask yourself why it’s so important. If your child is failing, it will be important to understand why. But, in general, your child’s grades are his or her own. We’re used to overseeing our children’s progress, but we need to let go.
Is it reasonable to impose restrictions or curfews during vacations?
Bowdler: It’s fine to set limits while your child is living in your home; parents don’t lose their right to a voice. But, it’s also important not to push too much. Choose your battles. If you’re worried if your child stays out all night, work something out so that he or she checks in at a certain hour. Parents can negotiate and explain the impact of certain behavior on a household.
Ross: Explain where you are coming from and then have a respectful conversation.